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March 5, 2024

JUST FOR FUN: This “study” hates our MHP uniforms

Therese Apel

An AI image of a Mississippi Highway Patrolman, provided by Wealth of Geeks

We get a lot of surveys and rankings and lists here at Darkhorse Press, and they’re usually from marketing firms just wanting to get their client’s name out there with a ranking of something random, like “Your State’s Favorite Halloween Candy” or “Moodiest Dog Breed.” 

Well, today we got one we just had to share, because… really?

They were even kind enough to send us links to AI images of every state’s uniform. Some of these folks are definitely wearing size SMedium.

So everything below this line is from them. Don’t blame us. 😂

 

Mississippi Highway Patrol Uniform Voted Among the Least ‘Sexy’ in America, Reveals Survey.

Firefighters often bask in the glow of adulation for their heroic deeds and, let’s admit it, their eye-catching uniforms. However, their comrades in blue have been patrolling the sidelines of the fashion lineup – until now. When it comes to attractive men and women in uniforms, the police service is strutting out of the shadows, ready for their moment in the spotlight. Indeed, America boasts an array of police uniforms, each with its own charm and charisma, turning the men and women who serve into icons of style and substance.

Wealth of Geeks recognized this unsung sartorial splendor and recently tapped into public opinion, asking 3,000 people to identify the sexiest state police uniforms. The survey was less about the long arm of the law and more about the strong impression these uniforms leave, where tradition meets style. The top 10 were as follows:

#1
Texas Department of Public Safety: Lone Star Style

They say everything’s bigger in Texas, and the state’s sense of style is no exception. Texas State troopers emerged from the poll as having the sexiest police uniforms in the nation. Envision shirts in a crisp, authoritative dark tan, known affectionately by troopers as “Texas Tan”. These shirts aren’t just attire; they’re a banner of pride and tradition, tailored to stand tall against the backdrop of bustling cities, sprawling ranches, and everything in between. They’re designed to command respect with a silhouette that’s as sharp as a cowboy’s resolve. It’s the cowboy hat that truly sets this uniform apart, worn with the swagger of a rodeo champion and the solemn duty of a ranger.

#2
New Hampshire State Police: Granite State Green

The second most attractive uniforms belong to the New Hampshire State Police. Shirts in a crisp, stately forest green, as enduring as the state’s vast wilderness and as welcoming as the small towns nestled within. Paired with tan trousers, the ensemble is brought together with a belt that signifies the strength of New England character. However, it’s the campaign hat that truly captures the essence of the New Hampshire State Police – It’s not just an accessory; it’s a statement, a nod to the commitment and courage required to uphold the law in a land where the state’s motto, “Live Free or Die”.

#3
Missouri State Highway Patrol: Show-Me Style

In 3rd position overall, reflecting Missouri’s expansive skies, the French blue shirts paired with dark navy trousers encapsulate the state’s fusion of progress and tradition. The ensemble is completed with a khaki campaign hat, a stylish emblem of authority that captures the essence of Missouri’s proud heritage.

#4
New Jersey State Police: Boardwalk Blues

Featuring shirts in a dazzling French blue, reminiscent of the lively Atlantic City boardwalk – this ensemble was voted as the 4th sexiest in the country – paired with trousers in a deep midnight blue that whispers secrets of the night. The look is anchored with a robust belt, a metaphor for New Jersey’s industrial might and unyielding spirit. A badge, radiant with commitment, completes the outfit, echoing the state’s promise of steadfast service and dedication.

#5
Arizona Department of Public Safety: Desert Chic

In the heart of the sunbaked Southwest, the Arizona Department of Public Safety uniform, which came in 5th place, is a testament to desert cool under the scorching sun. Tan shirts that mirror the endless sands, set against the backdrop of cacti and canyons, paired with matching trousers that stand as boldly as the saguaros. The ensemble is topped with a Montana Peak (Smokey) hat, casting just enough shadow to add an air of mystery to the wearer’s gaze.

#6
Colorado State Patrol: Mountain Majesty

Inspired by Colorado’s breathtaking landscapes, the light blue shirts mirror the crystal-clear alpine lakes, contrasted with tan trousers as steadfast as the Rockies themselves. This uniform exudes a magnetic allure, embodying the state’s adventurous spirit and the rugged charm of those who wear it.

#7
Washington State Patrol: Pacific Pride

Troopers from the Evergreen State emerged as the 7th most attractive overall. They wear shirts in a profound oceanic blue, which echo the majesty of Washington’s landscapes, from the Puget Sound to the Space Needle. This uniform merges authority with accessibility, featuring a modern cut that reflects the state’s forward-thinking ethos. The ensemble, unified by a belt symbolizing community commitment, radiates integrity and dedication.

#8
Florida Highway Patrol: Sunshine State Sleek

Sunshine and service blend seamlessly in the Florida Highway Patrol uniform, a sartorial salute to the sun-drenched splendor of the state. Tan shirts that capture the essence of endless summer, paired with matching trousers. This ensemble is accented with a campaign hat. It’s a look that balances professionalism with a pinch of holiday spirit, embodying the warmth and welcoming vibe of Florida.

#9
Hawaii State Sheriff Division: Island Elegance

In 9th place, the Hawaii State Sheriff Division is not just enforcing the law; they’re doing it in high style, sweeping the title of 2023’s best-dressed public safety department. The Sheriff Division has embraced a vibrant green that pays homage to the lush landscapes of the islands and the royal origins of the Sheriff’s office under King Kamehameha III. Historical chic.

#10
Indiana State Police: Heartland Haute Couture

Rounding up the top 10 came troopers from the Indiana State Police. In authoritative navy, this uniform combines tradition with modernity, symbolizing Indiana’s blend of heartland values and contemporary design. The ensemble, cinched with a belt that nods to the state’s industrious spirit, is not just about law enforcement but is also a statement of style, embodying Indiana’s commitment to excellence in service.

#39 Mississippi Highway Patrol
The Mississippi Highway Patrol uniform was voted among the least sexy in America. With its distinct grey and French blue colors, it conveys tradition and professionalism, but it falls short when it comes to style. The ensemble looks confused, and the campaign hat, while regal to some, is unlikely to turn heads while on patrol, and looks a little outdated.

Infographic showing each state’s most sexy police uniforms

In the end, it’s not just about the uniforms but the people who wear them with honor and style. As one survey respondent aptly put it, ‘These uniforms are more than fabric and threads; they’re the embodiment of the states they represent and the officers who wear them with pride.’ With this lineup of state police uniforms, it’s clear that America’s law enforcement officers are winning in the style stakes too” says Michael Dinich from Wealth of Geeks.

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