We all know them: The people who comment or post on our social media, and we instantly roll our eyes when we see their name.
It might be that weird person you never met who comments on literally everything and you don’t know why. It might be that dude from high school that you’ve tried so hard to forget exists. It might be that woman who’s got something negative to say about anything you post.
But in any case, you wish you’d never accepted that friend request.
Well there’s good news!
Each year on Nov. 17, social media users are encouraged to evaluate their online connections and remove people who aren’t truly part of their lives. The informal observance is known as National Unfriend Day, and it was created by Jimmy Kimmel during an episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live! in2010. According to NationalToday.com, Kimmel used the program to declare the day and encouraged viewers to wipe their Facebook friend lists clean to reflect real relationships.
Kimmel said that the word “friend” had been weakened in the era of social networking. He invented a funny test for deciding whether to keep someone on a friend list, which includes considering whether you would be invited them to your birthday party or whether you would cry if something bad happened to them.
Well… when you think about it like that… all of us have Facebook friends who aren’t really “friends,” right?
Scientists say our brains are naturally only wired to deal with relationships with around 150 people. This was ideal for our ancestors, who generally lived in small towns and weren’t affected by constant communication as we are today with growing urban areas, phones, computers, and other technology.
The human overload can cause us anxiety and erode our compassion and empathy, according to neuroscientist Chase Hughes. So thinning the social media herd can actually heal us in an organic way.
The idea that began as a comedic segment has since gained attention on lifestyle and observance websites. NationalToday.com describes National Unfriend Day as a lighthearted reminder to reconsider digital boundaries. HolidayToday.org also explains that the observance encourages people to remove online connections that do not contribute positively to daily life and to think about what real friendship means.
The topic has also been part of later segments on Kimmel’s show. ABC7 reported that on the 2015 National Unfriend Day, the show asked people to describe the most frustrating online friends they encountered, including oversharing acquaintances and people who repeatedly asked for favors.
Etiquette experts have also weighed in. Diane Gottsman, an etiquette author and founder of The Protocol School of Texas, told ABC7NY that unfriending doesn’t have to be hostile and can be used to create a healthy boundary rather than being seen as a personal attack.
On National Unfriend Day, we just want to remind you that online connection is not the same as personal connection. Close Instagram and go for a walk. Stop worrying about what that stranger said and check on your friend whose divorce just finalized.
Also, people you see in real life don’t have to affect your mental health either. You can create distance by drawing boundaries and not letting them occupy your headspace.
Stop doomscrolling. Start living. And unfriend your ex for real this time!
