Tara Evans had a stroke on March 11, 2024. Throughout her ordeal, God put exactly the right people in line to help her.Editor’s Note: Several months ago, we told you the story of Tara Evans of Pearl, who had a terrifying stroke on an airplane bound for North Carolina. To have a life-threatening medical emergency in a tin can thousands of feet above the Earth’s surface was not something Tara was prepared for, but thankfully, God was.
The struggle didn’t end there, by a long shot. Tara has been journaling through her process, and we are honored to publish some of her reflections and stories of survival with us here at Darkhorse Press.
By Tara Evans
I think most people love a good story.
One that is filled with the perfect combination of trauma, conflict, love, and compassion. A little glimpse inside another world to perhaps help escape one’s own.
The truth is, I feel like someone has taken a baseball bat and smashed my picture-perfect family, or the idea I had of one. Maybe it’s just my brain, or I’m not processing everything the same way. Perhaps God has a bigger plan for me.
Maybe I’m not supposed to be comfortable for now. Do circumstances get so complicated just for us to slow down and be patient? Or am I the only one who can see?
How did I miss this? What was I looking at? Was there something I failed to say? Did I forget to be thankful enough? When did my love become invisible? When did I stop being seen? I became a burden, even though nobody would ever admit it. I never asked myself to have a stroke. The truth is, neither did my family.
The emotional strain of my strokes has been significant: it struck my family like a wrecking ball. My family was my driving force to get better. The fall knocked the breath out of me, but the struggle to get back up intensified my strength. While I was etting stronger, my family was being slaughtered emotionally. Carnage everywhere I turned, and when I tried to communicate, the conversation was superficial, or I was denied completely.
The new exterior has become impossible to break. I’ve been knocking; I haven’t been let back in. I’m desperate to find a way to connect. How did I even get here? What did I miss on the to-do list? I have always craved love. I nurture it when I have it. It has become easy to see the avoidance of love that dwells among us; the absence of something that once held a family together. I thought I was making sure everything was secure. That’s what I have always done: try to make everything perfect.
My life changed forever on March 11, 2024. I was a healthy forty-seven-year-old female, other than the unknown PFO (patent foramen ovale), which caused the stroke.
I was spunky and a go-getter, and I loved to laugh. My life was not the only one that was impacted that day; the lives of my family were as well. We don’t all see things the same way, process traumatic life events, or cope with day-to-day life stressors in the same way. What do you do when you discover yourself treading water? Pray.
God asks us to be bold in our faith. Hebrews 11:6 “Now without faith it is impossible to please God, since the one who draws near to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” God moved me from my airplane seat and laid me exactly where I needed to be on March 11, 2024: I would say that is bold and faithful.
Sometimes it is difficult for others to understand, especially if they haven’t experienced it personally. There are moments, I feel like sitting in the middle of the floor, throwing my hands up, crying, and giving up on everything. Then I remember the sacrifice.
My journey feels like a slingshot some days. I have a story to share because God gave me another day. Some are great, and others are a struggle. I have to trust in the next step. God trusted me to be vulnerable. As a stroke survivor, I am proud of how far I have come. I love seeing the sassy glimpses of the old me sparkle, and giggle at some of the newfound confidence the new me found along the way.
Most importantly, I am learning to love myself. Sending love to all!
I love you, Bryan.
