Tara Evans had a stroke on March 11, 2024. Throughout her ordeal, God put exactly the right people in line to help her.Editor’s Note: Several months ago, we told you the story of Tara Evans of Pearl, who had a terrifying stroke on an airplane bound for North Carolina. To have a life-threatening medical emergency in a tin can thousands of feet above the Earth’s surface was not something Tara was prepared for, but thankfully, God was.
The struggle didn’t end there, by a long shot. Tara has been journaling through her process, and we are honored to publish some of her reflections and stories of survival with us here at Darkhorse Press.
By Tara Evans
I have always felt the presence of God, and I started talking to Him when I was a little girl. I would fall asleep praying. Suddenly, I would wake up and get startled because I wasn’t finished praying for everybody, and I mean every living soul. Can you imagine?
That seems like a big prayer for a little girl, and I am still falling asleep talking to God.
Except these days, I fall asleep in complete faith.
In my young adult life, I was a Sunday morning Christian; that was when it was convenient. I had cigarettes to smoke, shots to shoot, and moves to make on the dance floor. So, you can imagine I was a bit of a hot mess on Sunday morning. I was there singing the famous oldie but goodie, “Holy, Holy, Holy! Lord God Almighty” right next to my grandparents, Jim and Eula Myers. My cousin, Leslie, would be sitting next to me trying to keep her composure, while my Aunt Kay was up in the choir giving us the stink eye. She knew I was cutting up and destroying the Southern Hymnal. Was I bad? No, I was different, I didn’t fit the mold; I was the rebel of my family.
As I write, I am overwhelmed with emotions. I suddenly realize that God has been preparing me for this moment my entire life.
After my second stroke, the frontal lobe stroke, I started having extreme insomnia. I would talk to God and hold my little wooden cross close to my heart. I was terrified of everything and scared all the time. I would watch Bryan sleep, struggle with the blaring noise in my head, and cry out to Jesus. I would move around the house and talk to God to help lessen the sound of the megaphone inside my head. The noise was everywhere and everything: it was washing my face, walking to the mailbox, folding the laundry, riding in the car, emptying the dishwasher, answering the phone, going to therapy, and nobody understood.
Bryan and the boys knew why I held my cross but everyone else would question me and most people couldn’t relate to me after my strokes. It was heartbreaking. I was childlike for months, scared of the world, impulsive, and vulnerable. Friends and family didn’t spare the comments or my feelings: “You will never be a nurse again,” “You’re different now,” “I saved it so you could listen to it,” and “Don’t act like you don’t know girl.”
I have even been in a position where I was threatened, laughed at, and treated like a stranger — and the list could grow — but at this point, does it matter? No.
What matters is that when I was completely broken and my brain was not functioning properly, I held on to God and didn’t let go. God heard my cries! God took me at my weakest and restored me. As I wept and prayed, he slowly started to heal my brain.
Am I a little different? I am. God has been preparing me for this moment my entire life. I was always the one who was too sensitive, emotional, loving, and giving, the peacekeeper. I had to learn to set boundaries.
When I opened my journal a few days ago the first page read: disappointed, crazy, feel constant emotions, feeling of loneliness and stupid. Today I have so much gratitude and I am humbled. So, my journal today is “Hey you…it’s me!” I am a new me and I am so thankful! Today, I am still singing for God, and I am still cutting up. You’ll hear me singing Reckless Love by Cory Asbury:
“There’s no shadow you won’t light up, mountain you won’t climb up coming after me.”
God has been patiently waiting and preparing every step for me, and I think this song describes His love for me is perfect. I hope I can show Him how thankful I am by sharing my story. Sending love to all.
I want to dedicate this entry to my cousin, Leslie McAdory Cains. She was diagnosed with triple negative invasive ductal carcinoma on February 23, 2023, and is now in remission.
Now it’s time to get everyone together to request a special prayer for an old friend, David Joseph Browman. Many of you know him as the guru of all things: hair. He has been undergoing treatment for metastatic squamous cell carcinoma. Please say a special prayer for my dear friend and his husband, Alphonso, who has been working multiple jobs and traveling to MD Anderson to care for David. The caretaker is often forgotten about.
To my caretaker, my love, my everything…I love you Bryan Lewis.
