Tara Evans had a stroke on March 11, 2024. Throughout her ordeal, God put exactly the right people in line to help her.Editor’s Note: Several months ago, we told you the story of Tara Evans of Pearl, who had a terrifying stroke on an airplane bound for North Carolina. To have a life-threatening medical emergency in a tin can thousands of feet above the Earth’s surface was not something Tara was prepared for, but thankfully, God was.
The struggle didn’t end there, by a long shot. Tara has been journaling through her process, and we are honored to publish some of her reflections and stories of survival with us here at Darkhorse Press.
By Tara Evans
“Am I broken? Am I flawed? Do I deserve a shred of worth, or am I just another fake, lost cause?”
These are lyrics from a song that a dear friend sent me. I could feel the tears on the other side of the phone and I asked the question… “Who is taking care of you?” So, the longer we talked, the more questions stacked up, something felt oddly familiar.
Before my strokes, I always had a little side of sass. I would describe myself as energetic, independent, loyal, determined, loving, the fixer, and the biggest team cheerleader. I loved being on the burn team and I loved my patients. I had the opportunity to assist with patient rounding and I quickly discovered that it was my perfect fit.
I forgot to mention that running my mouth helped me out. So, service recovery and patient advocacy are definitely where I shine. Walking into a patient room and making an initial connection, solving an issue, and starting to build trust was vital in the specialty care that our patient needed. It did not take long for me to understand how to master this role. I excelled because of my nurturing nature but also I was benefitting from the experience as well. God was feeding my soul. I was called the patient whisperer and I liked it. That’s where the sass comes in! We all love a little recognition.
After my second stroke, the left frontal lobe stroke, I became unrecognizable. The strong, compassionate, kind-hearted nurse with a side of sass was temporarily unavailable. I was preparing for war in my head and strategizing a safety plan for my family simultaneously. My brain was pure chaos. As I write I have to take a beat or pause so to speak because of the pain this second stroke has caused me. This is the “oddly familiar” feeling I was referring to. The frontal lobe stroke robbed me of so many things. I was so angry, but now I have accepted some things that once infuriated me and learned to love the one thing it gifted me: taking accountability.
I wrestled with the devil. Little did that weasel know, I am a fighter and God had plans for me. The sounds in my head were blaring and it was excruciating. I was fully aware of the battle inside my head and tried everything I could to avoid the bomb exploding inside my mouth. Sadly, I failed in the beginning. My entire personality changed and to make the situation worse: I looked completely “normal,” but I was shattered on the inside and not a single person recognized it except for me… I had to be my ADVOCATE.
So, I slowly got quiet because I was desperate to find myself and return to my family. I lost friends and family after my strokes but my immediate family never left me. This is where I take accountability. My home was my safe place. Remember, I looked “normal.” Sadly, not everyone understood, even those who were medically trained (friends), what a stroke looked like. I lost my temper and raised my voice; actually, I screamed. This is the sad part of my frontal lobe stroke. Thankfully, I do not have outbursts anymore. I have learned how to manage that particular ‘tude.
Prayer. (Source: Daiga Ellaby For Unsplash+)To the dear friend who sent me the song. I see you, I love you and God is taking care of you. ❤️
I am going to do something a little different because I believe in prayer. I know how it feels to be in the darkness and in the maze. I also know how it feels to be the one that goes unnoticed and criticized. To be the one person who wants to be accepted by your family but never makes the cut. There is so much freedom in letting go and setting boundaries. That is just another wonderful gift I received once I accepted the “new me,” more to come with that.
So, to all the STRONG WOMEN and to everyone reading this article I ask you to pray over this unnamed person and the following women, and to Bryan, I love you.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plan I have for you” – this is the Lord’s declaration – “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Matthew 18:20 “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them”
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