On Monday, Lee County Sheriff Jim Johnson issued a warning about a series of addictive substances that will soon enter the state.

Using Facebook as a means of impressing on his community the importance of awareness, Sheriff Johnson identified the threats by name, and told members of the community how to safely dispose of them:

“The name of these substances are:
‘Thin Mints, Tagalongs, Samoas, Do-si-dos, Trefolis, Lemon-Ups, S’mores, Toffee-tastiest and Adventurefuls.’

The ‘Cookie Cartel’ is primarily run by girls who try to lure you in with a good cause story and then you become addicted to these cookies.

We here at the Lee County Sheriff’s Office are willing to step between you and these dangerously delicious things. If you some how get snookered into purchasing one or more of these items, please feel free to bring your purchase to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office and we will allow one of our certified cookie sampling deputies dispose of them. Support the Cause,” the sheriff said.

(Safety Disclaimer: For anyone who could miss the nuance of this article, the post was a joke, and it was funny.)